“I will try my best”

I almost hate this statement. As soon as someone says it, I feel their commitment to a certain task is not complete. From my experience at work so far, I’ve learnt that you either do something or you don’t. “Try” is used by the uncommitted. I would rather someone say “I will do my best”. But even that doesn’t seem right. Can someone really do their best? How does one know what their best is unless they push themselves? When a performance exceeds all previous performances? And upon exceeding previous performances, how does one know that they can’t do any better? I think it’s impossible to achieve one’s best…only because one’s best can always get better.

To Err is Human....

Of late, I haven’t been thinking of myself as a very good human being. However, I recently read a quote by one Mr M.K Gandhi that goes something along the lines of “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”

Gets me thinking….if I keep thinking of myself as bad, I’ll probably drop my standards of what is acceptable and what is not and probably repeatedly do things that I shouldn’t. I don’t want to do that. My standards are high and I should keep aiming to achieve those standards even if I fall.

I’ve realized, it’s so easy to slip in life. It’s easy to fall and stay down. It’s easy to say “this is who I am and I shall never be any better”. It’s easy to feel ashamed and not to fight the shadows in your head, the doubts and the fears. I think I’ve come very close to understanding why people chose to give up their lives or just throw it away with their vices. I’ve decided I will not be like that. I shall not forget my mistakes and I shall still hope that life will give me the opportunity to redeem myself. However I will not let them bring me down and let my life slip away. I shall become the man I want to be.

Jaipur.

According to the news 9 blasts took place in Jaipur on the 13th of May, 2008. The newspapers are floodedwith comments from public and politicians alike. "We will not bow to terrorism". "India will bounce back"."It is a cowardice acts targetted at innocent people"

I feel nothing but sympathy and sadness that these acts occurred and that many people have lost their lives. I sincerely pray for those affected and I wish them strength to overcome their losses. But two weeks from now life will be normal again. Not just for me but for a lot of people in India and I'm sure even some people in Jaipur. We attribute this to our resiliency - our ability to bounce back. We kid ourselves...or atleast I kid myself. It's not resiliency. It's total apathy. If it didn't affect me directly, I can't care too much about it. Two weeks from now if you ask me the exact date of the blasts, I will not remember. I don't remember the date of the 1993 Bombay blasts or the 2006 blasts on the Bombay trains. The same applies to the Hyderabad blasts at Mecca Masjid followed by the blasts at Lumbini Gardens and Gokul chaats or the attacks at IISc in Bangalore. I won't even think about any of these until the next blast happens. And then the whole cycle will start again.

I wonder which is a greater act of cowardice? The blasts....or my apathy.